How to Reconnect with Your Spouse

How to Reconnect with Your Spouse

Being married to other better half is amazing. But, what happens when you one day wake up and realize that your other half has turned into a bit of a mystery to you?  You suddenly feel as if you aren't quite sure of their likes or dislikes anymore and can't think of the last time that you both had time to yourself, with each other. 

How did you each become so distant from one another and how did it even happen in the first place?  It happens to a lot of marriages.  Life happens, we are running at full-speed trying to stay caught up in everything going on around us that we forget to nurture the relationships that are important right under our own nose.

It's not like we meant to take certain things for granted, but it can happen. While is can be disheartening to think about, there are ways to shift the focus back onto you and your spouse. 

Here are some suggestions on how to reconnect with your spouse:

Keep it basic and simple. 

Don't over-complicate it.  If you are feeling the distance between the two of you, then there is a good chance that your spouse may possibly have been aware of it also.  Start by simply beginning to pay attention to them more.  Not over the top, but just small subtle ways.  Listen to them when they are saying something, greet them when they walk through the door after a hard day of work or make certain to ask their thoughts and opinions about topics that have been swirling around in your head.  Just start to include them more on the everyday activities going on in your life.

Be kind to one another.

We can all probably admit that the person that we trust the most is our spouse but also...the person that we get frustrated at the most as well is our spouse.  Some days, give 'em a break.  No one is perfect in this world, so holding someone to expectations that are unrealistic do no good for either of you.  Allow them to have an opinion or a thought that you don't agree with and sometimes, let some of their behaviors that annoy you just go unnoticed without commenting.  Remember that saying that starts out with "Love is patient..." Channel that inner patience.

Set aside one night per week that is 100% time for just you and your spouse. 

No kids, no friends, no TV, no cell phones - no outside distractions of any kind.  Just several uninterrupted hours of pure communication between you and your spouse.  You both decide what you want to do, together.  You make a choice, together.  And you spend all night doing that choice.  Nothing comes in the way, plans don't get cancelled.  All night, for both of you.

Watch your tone.

Sometimes, one spouse may start to step back because they feel that the other spouse is constantly nagging about something.  When speaking with, or to, your spouse, be aware of the tone and inflection in your voice.  Don't use accusatory words when speaking as that automatically causes a defense to happen on the part of your spouse.  Speak to others as you would want to be spoken too.

Have an open-door communication policy.

Maybe you or your spouse have no idea about how the way you speak to each other, truly hurts and bothers each other.  Make a promise between the two of you that you will have open-door communication meaning that at any point in time, if you say something hurtful or need to say something that is on your mind, you will open up and have that tough conversation with your better half.  Holding onto thoughts and emotions and never confronting them won't be good for anyone.  

Time passes by quickly in life and so does the opportunities to spend time with our spouse.  While it does happen that we lose focus of our better half at times, don't let that become the bar for your relationship.  Make the time to refocus on your spouse and your marriage.  Put you and your spouses relationship back on the front burner and give it the proper fuel to be able to continue to burn strong.  

How do you reconnect with your spouse? Comment below!

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