5 Things I’ve Learned In The First 5 Years of Marriage
Ahh... Marriage. The first 5 years of wedded bliss is usually when you learn the most about yourself and your spouse. This is also when you find your own lane and how to co-exist as a married couple.
Leading up to the wedding, it's usually stress and chaos. There's very little time for you to focus on your own needs because you're too busy focusing on those last minute details. But, once everything settles down and you get back from your honeymoon, everything will slowly fall back into place. However, you'll need to start getting used to people calling you Mrs. (which is still SO weird for me).
Honestly, once we got married, nothing changed... My name wasn't even changed for a solid 5 or 6 months later. We were already living together so there was no adjustment necessary. But, I know that's not the case for some of you who may be reading this article. Life can become much harder once you get married, but only if you let it.
Okay, now let me share some of my marriage wisdom with you. My husband and I actually collaborated on this one so it was fun to write. Also, I know some of the stuff I'm about to say may not resonate with you and that's totally okay. To each their own.
Here are 5 things that my husband and I learned in the first 5 years of marriage:
You only relate to other married couples that don’t have kids.
Since we're not planning on having children, we feel like we can only relate to other married couples who don't have kids. We're not being consumed with the lack of sleep, the play dates, or how to find ways to live our lives with little monsters running around. Honestly, I'm completely content with being an amazing Aunt to a brilliant 5 year old and couldn't be happier that he's a part of my life.
It’s no different than dating if you’re with the right person.
Really, it's not. We lived together before we got married (hell, we wanted to know if we were able to cohabitate without killing each other before we legally became bound to one another). We are best friends and we know what makes each other happy and what makes us tick. A relationship is all about growth and we've both had to adapt to many changes in our lives within the last 5 years. Yet, here we are... doing the same things we used to do before we got married... Like watching Sportscenter and eating pizza!
People still think they know what’s best for you and your spouse.
Your family still tries to run your life (in some way) and continually nudge you about “your future.” Let’s be real, they want to know when you’re having kids... And guess what, it’s none of their business!
Far too many people get offended when women say they're not having kids. Personally, I've been told "you will have kids someday" and "your life isn't complete without a child." Actually, I think our lives are complete because we have each other. This is our personal choice and I'd really like people to respect that. *rant over*
If you don’t plan properly, you’ll be in debt.
I'll make this one super simple... Don’t have a big wedding if you can’t afford it. Your family will just have to deal with it. By planning a wedding takes a massive toll on you financially and emotionally and at the end of the chaos, you may feel like the celebration was for everyone else but yourself. Sad, but true. If you want to go elope in Las Vegas - just do it. Invite your immediate family and close friends if you want and if they don't want to make the trek, it's their issue - not yours. Let them throw you a party when you get back!
Your single friends won’t understand why you don’t want to party with them every weekend.
For real though... I’d rather do laundry and chill on the couch with a glass of wine and a book. Sorry, not sorry. I'm also in my mid-thirties. I don't want to go to a bar until an ungodly hour to deal with drunk people when I could be home and sleeping in my warm bed. Plus the hangovers aren't too pretty... I'm usually out of commission for an entire day. It sucks! Once in a while, it's great to go out, but I definitely try to keep it to a minimum.
Well, there you have it... 5 things that my husband I learned in the first 5 years of marriage. This turned out to be a bit of an opinion piece, but it's exactly what we both wanted to say.
Do you have any wisdom or lessons that you'd like to share about the first 5 years of your marriage? Comment below.